Game Perceptions: Retro Edition: Final Fantasy IX, or, how I learned to love old school RPGs

John

Come on, come all. Welcome to Game Perceptions. I've never done one of these solo before, but B.T. has never actually played Final Fantasy IX, yet he did do an excellent job on the image above (Thanks, by the way), so you get just good ol' John. Yes, I know you must be very disappointed, but this is one of my favorite games and I plan to do it some justice. So, as Mega Man Volnutt would say, HERE WE GO!

One Sentence Gaming, Vol 1

John

Here at DPG, we try to bring you the absolute best in gaming comedy. Obviously, everything we do is hit or miss, but we strive to achieve for the former.


You may have heard of 5 Second Movies. If you haven't, it's a little like it sounds. Reviewers will sum up a movie in 5 or so (with a heavy emphasis on "or so") in the simplest way possible. So, we present to you: One Sentence Gaming. We'll start with some of my personal favorite games. Ready? Go!

 

1) Final Fantasy IX: Effeminate half monkey-half human hybrid hits on a princess, aggravates a knight, destroys one planet, and saves another.

 2) The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask: Waifish elf falls down pit, gets cursed by a witch doctor, and must become the world's greatest astronaut in three days by learning how to play the ocarina.